Step 24 Up the Tribe Triangle: Communication Styles For Kinship
“The art of communication is the language of leadership.”
-James Humes
Communication sits at the very center of kinship. It is the lifeblood of relationships and the central driver of sustainable success. It is the crown jewel of all your kinship treasure and, like a diamond, your communication needs clarity in addition to being concise, correct, courteous and coherent.
Effective communication skills are the most important tools in your leadership tool kit. Developing the choice of what communication tool to use as well as the skill to use it is a lifelong process. Your communication skills will make and maintain the level of kinship that your tribe can achieve. Think deeply on this, Tribe Leader!
Communication styles are a more granular expression of the Platinum rule. In addition to treating people the way they need to be treated, you also must communicate to them in the manner that works for them.
‘Communication is the bridge between chaos and clarity.’
There are three forms of communication, verbal, non-verbal and visual. Understanding these three forms will help you give intentional, full spectrum communication.
There are also four different communication styles and mastering these will make your communication targeted and impactful.
The Three Forms of Communication
1. Verbal Communication
“Grasp the subject, the words will follow.”
-Cato The Elder
Verbal communication is the most obvious form of communication but it is actually the least impactful especially regarding influence and retention of information. Verbal communication is still a central tool in your communication toolbox and ensuring that your words are clear, concise, correct, coherent and courteous will ensure maximum results. All these verbal communication factors can and should be improved, because your ability to communicate effectively will dictate the success of your kinship system and all of its projects. It may be painful at first but listen to yourself talk on a zoom recording or other platform and you will immediately hear opportunities for improvement. You deserve this. Your people and projects demand it.
2. Nonverbal Communication
“The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.”
There are numerous studies devoted to the complex subject of nonverbal communication and they all agree that between 70% and 93% of all communication is nonverbal. This is very important for you, Tribe Leader!
How are you presenting your communication? How is your posture? Do you use hand gestures? Even your appearance carries more weight than your words and people who look stressed, unprepared and disheveled project a lack of confidence, expertise and authority. People who are fit, stand upright and maintain strong eye contact communicate a vast amount of information without a word being said. This is referred to as command bearing in the military. Your nonverbal language speaks volumes.
3.Visual communication
“Within your visual communication there will inevitably be information and meaning beyond the image itself.This makes visual communication a very powerful tool.”
-Aldous Huxley
Visual forms of communication include maps, signs and other graphics that represent ideas and topics that are often too large or complex to be fully expressed in words alone. Humans are visual creatures and these visuals augment your communication. Use them.
The Four Communication Styles
In addition to the three forms of communication there are four main communication styles: analytical, intuitive, functional and personal. Like other versions of the platinum rule, every person has a preferred method of communication and delivering your message in that style will substantially improve the quality and impact of your message. Regardless of what your personal communication style is, if you are versatile enough to deliver your message in the style that works for your listener you will get greater results. Like everything else in leadership this will take practice but it will transform the success of your people and projects.
Active listening and watching the verbal and non-verbal communication forms of your people will give you all the information you need to determine their communication style. In addition to giving you clues about their active communication style, active listening itself is a key communication best practice.
Poor communicators are rarely actively listening and just waiting to reply.
Analytical Style
Analytical communicators are going to appreciate and use numbers, historical precedents and data. They will site sources and expect you to do the same. Measurable information and stats will carry vastly more weight with these members of your tribe than emotional statements.
The benefit of being able to access this analytical communication style is the ability to deal with emotional situations logically. Even when dealing with sensitive issues, analytical people will respond positively if there are stats and research to back up your topic. When dealing with analytical communicators come prepared or you will experience the downside of that communication style which can be dismissive and passive-aggressive. Don’t take this personally, Tribe Leader, recommit to your thoughtful position or come back better prepared.
Intuitive Communication Style
Intuitive communicators are very expressive and want to discuss the big picture and vision of a topic. Unlike the analytical communicators, intuitives will reject getting bogged down in stats and granular details of a project. If you join them in the big picture level of the conversation you will discover that insights, innovation and creativity will begin to flow. Ideas and solutions happen quickly when working with an intuitive.
The challenge of conversation with intuitive communicators is avoiding mistakes that are often made by bypassing details and specifics. In addition, they can quickly become impatient and even overly assertive with a pace they feel is too slow. Keep them on track and don’t let them take things personally.
Functional Communication Style
The functional communicator is all about results. They do not need the slow and detailed approach of the analytic or the visionary approach of the intuitive. The functional communicator wants to get to the next right step and the implementation of that step.
You will often find that communication itself is a frustrating use of time to the functional communicator who would rather be doing the topic at hand instead of discussing it. Be brief and be action oriented or you will discover the functional communicator will become impatient and even aggressive.
Personal Communication Style
Personal communicators often use emotions and feelings in their communication and see the act of communication as a part of a relationship. They want to know how you are feeling about the topic and the conversation itself. Personal communication will develop your interpersonal connections and kinship with your tribe because it focuses on the human aspect of the topic or project at hand.
This can be a vital style to help you navigate personal challenges but it can also trap you in feelings instead of solutions and action. In addition, personal communicators can be threatened by other communication styles and become passive and acquiesce.
Communication is a relationship and in every relationship you can only control your part. Claim that part with great intentionality! Listen and watch actively so you can determine the communication style of your partner and do what you can to make that relationship communication work. This is a vital part of the platinum rule that powers kinship and sets the stage for the big challenges and results in the next phase of the Tribe Triangle.
Click here To watch the video of Step 24: Communication Styles
Leaders Must Write and Speak
Answer these questions in your journal by really writing them down. Discuss them with at least one of your most important people and really listen to their response.
Choose one member of your inner circle and reflect on how they communicate. Are they analytic, intuitive, functional or personal communicators?
What is one way you can improve the way you communicate with them?
What is your communication style?
Ubuntu,
Philip Folsom